Have You Been Hiding Your ADHD Traits? Insights from an ADHD Psychologist Melbourne
- phoebelau
- 7 days ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
What is ADHD Masking?
As an ADHD Psychologist Melbourne, I have seen ADHD client who don't know that they're masking, and all that effort given to masking has led them to burnout. Masking happens when someone with ADHD tries to hide or downplay their traits to blend in. It’s an unconscious survival strategy that often begins early. Maybe you learnt to stay quiet even when your mind raced with ideas. Or you forced yourself to sit still when your body needed to move. Over time, this constant self-monitoring can leave you feeling exhausted, disconnected, and unsure of who you really are.
People mask for many reasons, like to avoid criticism, to meet expectations at work, or simply to be seen as “capable”. For many adults, especially women and late-diagnosed individuals, masking becomes so habitual that they only realise they’ve been doing it after their ADHD diagnosis.
Signs You Might Be Masking Your ADHD From An ADHD Psychologist Melbourne
You may not notice you’re masking until you start reflecting on your day-to-day life. Here are a few common signs:
You replay conversations in your head, worrying you talked too much or interrupted.
You push through burnout because you’re afraid of letting people down.
You imitate others’ social cues or organisation systems to appear “on top of things”.
You feel a constant sense of tension or performance anxiety, even with friends.
You’re told you seem “fine” but inside, you feel like you’re always treading water.
Recognising these patterns can bring mixed emotions. Relief, because there’s finally an explanation. Sadness, because it shows how much effort you’ve been putting into fitting in.
The Emotional Toll of Masking
Masking is exhausting. It can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and even identity confusion. When you spend years editing yourself, you may lose touch with what feels natural. Many of our clients describe a deep sense of burnout and emptiness that lingers even after external success.
Unmasking (the process of showing up as your authentic self) isn’t about giving up on self-improvement. It’s about releasing shame and recognising that your ADHD traits are part of how your brain works, not flaws to hide.
How Therapy Can Help You Unmask Safely
At The Inner Collective, our approach to ADHD counselling in Melbourne is neuroaffirming and trauma-informed. That means we don’t try to “fix” ADHD traits — we help you understand them, regulate them, and live in alignment with your strengths.
Working with an ADHD psychologist in Melbourne can help you:
Identify the moments when you mask and understand why you do it.
Build skills for emotional regulation and nervous system calm.
Explore self-compassion and acceptance practices.
Create ADHD-friendly routines that work with your brain, not against it.
We also focus on reconnecting you with your values. When you live by what matters most, it becomes easier to let go of perfectionism and people-pleasing.
A More Authentic Way Forward
Unmasking takes time. It’s not about suddenly “showing all of yourself”. It’s about slowly learning that you are safe to be who you are. Small shifts, like stimming when you need to, taking breaks, or being honest about needing structure, are acts of self-care.
If you’ve been feeling drained by the constant effort to appear “neurotypical”, you don’t have to keep doing it alone. Our ADHD psychologists in Melbourne can help you find relief, self-understanding, and a way to thrive as your genuine self.
Reach Out
If this resonates with you, reach out to our team of Melbourne psychologists at The Inner Collective. Together, we’ll help you understand your ADHD, reclaim your energy, and move towards a life that feels authentically yours.
Contact us to book an appointment with an ADHD psychologist in Melbourne today.
